7/15/12


 * Set up Hamachi
 * Found out how to host (Popoken hosts and Aargh takes DM position)
 * Training battle versus a fucking dragon
 * Norman got KO'd by the dragon after anally penetrating it
 * Battle was paused mid combat

We had a lot of trouble getting the game started. After first failing to get things working with yours truly as the host via direct connect, we failed to get the game going over Hamachi as well. Apparently my internets are just fucked somehow. Finally Popoken stepped up as the host and, after Canadish downloaded the correct version of MapTool we could get started.

The first few minutes of the game were a clusterfuck of people dicking with the map and the character tokens, but after a while I suggested getting a sparring match going. Lo and behold, a dragon spawned out of thin air and attacked the group. It turned out Popoken didn't know how to D&D (ten points from Gryffindor), but we got that sorted out right quick.

It soon became clear that the dragon wasn't as fearsome as it could have been, lacking a breath attack and having shit for stats. Questions were raised about the dragon's mental competence, mothers were insulted, Dwarves were made dragon-sized, monkeys were summoned, attacks of opportunity were made, crossbows turned into crit-machines, quarterstaves were lodged firmly in tailholes and a certain Gnome was knocked the fuck out.

Unfortunately I got hungry before the dragon got dead, so we'll never see the end of the whole thing. No bards shall sing stories of this epic battle, because the only bard present was rendered unconscious.

All in all, despite the rough start, I'd call this practice run a success. Next stop: The actual adventure!

Aargh DM 16:08, July 15, 2012 (UTC)